I’m Gonna Love You Through it
Supporting other generations even if they are different
By Pastor Adam Fox
There are some television shows that you can watch over and over again and not loose interest in them: I love Lucy, Seinfeld, the Office and even Gravity Falls.
Gravity Falls follows the adventures of Dipper Pines and his twin sister Mabel who are sent to spend the summer with their great-uncle or "Grunkle" Stan in Gravity Falls, Oregon, a mysterious town full odd forces and weird creatures. The kids help Stan run "The Mystery Shack", the tourist trap which he owns, while also investigating the local mysteries.
This animated delight of a show pits two 12 year-olds who are filled with energy and curiosity and their great uncle Stan and his dishonest ways and routine. At times their seems to be a great amount of pressure or unnecessary toughness put upon Dipper by Grunkle Stan – which is not understood right away.
While Stan is purposefully tough or mean to his great nephew in order to prepare the boy for the adulthood and all that comes with it. This reasons for his actions are not understood till they are explained some time later in the show.
But this interaction between these animated characters to me mirrors what is happening in society today and even in the church itself. Older and younger generations are not seeing eye-to-eye and focusing on the differences.
There are many generations in our society today, each with creative names but some times it is hard to see where one generation stops and another starts. The main four generations to define and discuss are:
Baby Boomer Generation: 1946 – 1964
Generation X: 1965 – 1980
Millennial Generation: 1981 – 1996
Generation Z: 1997 – Current
I point out these dates to clarify the differences between the Millennials (which I am) and the Z generation. While I know the media and popular culture likes to lump them together and make them both the whipping boy for the ills of society – it is not accurate, fair or supportive.
While it is no surprise that like each person, each generation has a different set of values and beliefs from the others. Studies show that the Millennial generation emphasize the importance of the economy, education, de-emphasize sharing your faith, families and marriage. The added emphasis for this Millennial Generation on the economy and education is no surprise to me as student debit – which is a resultant of a want for education – is like a noose around my neck daily.
As of Q2 of the 2019 fiscal year, for borrowers ages 25 to 34—a significant share of the Millennial population—there was $497.6 billion in outstanding student loan debt for about 15.1 million borrowers. This translates to an average student debt of around $33,000 dollars for each borrower.
With the price of college increasing and the student debt piling up, this generation has a shifting value than previous generation because of the cost of education and desire to better themselves.
If this is how things are in the world, with a new generation establishing themselves and what they bring to the table – why is the church getting swept up in the same kind of unsupportive and disrespectful discourse between the generations?
The growing divide in our American society is real and we can see it on a daily bases in terms of Presidential candidate choices, the Millennial ‘killing’ industries, or the importance of technology.
But are we the same in the church as in the world? I hope not.
While yes, it is clear by now that each generation prides itself on their own perspective on things and issues, that does not make one better than the other. I have always believed in a family approach to working with the next generations – or as Mark DeVries describes it, a cloud of witnesses for each students.
DeVries writes in his book Family-Based Youth Ministry that each student, each member of this youthful generation should have a stadium filled with supporters. The example he uses is a basketball game, the stands should not be his parents and the pastor there to support, love and encourage him. It should be filled with as many people in his life that care for him, his pastor and youth workers, family AND church family. Where each part of this cloud of supporters cheer him on and help him grow in his faith and make the youth WANT to be in church.
This has been a driving principle for me for how I minister to kids but it needs to not be limited to students. We need to take this approach to the entirety of the next generations too.
Over the past decade, the Millennial generation has had a high drop-out rate from the church during the high school and college time of their lives and rarely return to church. This should alarm you.
Millennials are a part of a growing trend of youth who are leery of traditional sources of authority like the church, which have been scrutinized for their various sex scandals and resistance to social change. The institution of “the church” is not automatically persuasive to today’s young adults.
But what gives me hope is this Family-Based Ministry approach that I believe more Christians and churches should take up is the overwhelming response to peer mentorship.
In Barna’s research on this subject, Resilient Disciples or Christians who have become entrenched in the church were significantly more likely than other respondents to say that they had adult friends in their congregations when they were young. That pattern of close relationships continues with them today: 88% agree that “the church is a place where I feel I belong,” and 85% that “there is someone in my life who encourages me to grow spiritually.”
These facts and studies of the church and Millennials should prove to all of us what needs to be done: adapt to reach this generation that is slipping away.
While I consistently promote a family based approach to ministry, by encouraging all of the Saints to be a friend, an encouragement, a supporter and a spiritual guide for each and every young adult and kid. The Bible show us many examples of how we can do that and one of my favorites is the beginning of the Shema in Deuteronomy 6.
The Shema is a daily Jewish prayer that was collection of speeches attributed to Moses before the next generation of Israel entered the Promised Land. Moses challenges them with his wisdom and warning because he doesn’t want these Israelites to repeat their parents’ mistakes.
4 “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one! 5 You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.
6 “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. 8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
For us as Modern Christians, this reminder of how to walk and act and how not live should be shown from one generation to the next. As spiritually mature Christians, that means showing these Godly characteristics to everyone. Just as Paul did to Timothy.
12 Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity. 13 Till I come, give attention to reading, to exhortation, to doctrine. 14 Do not neglect the gift that is in you, which was given to you by prophecy with the laying on of the hands of the eldership. 15 Meditate on these things; give yourself entirely to them, that your progress may be evident to all. 16 Take heed to yourself and to the doctrine. Continue in them, for in doing this you will save both yourself and those who hear you.
We can see in the letters to the youthful pastor Timothy, that Paul needs to remind him that age should not limit him in how he lives and does. He – and we – should be encouragers like Paul, teachers in word and deed and supportive in the growth of this next generations.
As Christians, we are called to share the gospel to all around us, not just those of our peer group and belief set. It is not an optional thing. But speaking to the Millennial and Z generations, it also means willing to learn from others with a different mindset and background.
Each of us should be wanting to reach these lost younger generations, to help them understand that they need the Lord and His grace through faith. Is there a difference between generations – you bet, but that is not an excuse to not try.
For these older generations who have a want and desire to reach these younger generations for they need to be willing to try new ways. It is clear that Millennials have a unique sense of values and motivations and the ways of old are not always going to reach them.
While it may be a frightening thought to forge new ways and adapt to what has been the tried and true – but it is worth it if we can start reaching many of Millennials and Z for the Lord and stop the disappearing from the church that happens in there teenage years.
In the same breath, these youths need to be willing to be taught and come with an open mind and heart.
Generation differences are hard and it is easy to shift blame to another generation or make them the Achilles heel of all the worlds problem. The news and media do that. We cannot.
The evidence is plain. As a church, we need to help this generation like an older mentor to a younger mentee. Show them that we care for them, help them understand what they value and that we to care for the injustice of sin in the world and the like. Or for maybe the simplest step of all – talk to them and get to know them.
If I have learned anything from watching Gravity Falls, it is that while it is difficult to prove to the next generation that you care for them and love them and want them to succeed – it is not impossible. If or when you do reach them – do not stop with just the one soul reached, keep going.
Cheers and Excelsior!
Pastor Adam